Thoughts, Feelings Behaviour - Why our emotions control the show not our thoughts.

Updated: May 4

Now, if you know me, you'll know I’m a 100% believer in 'Your thoughts create your reality".

I’ve done a tremendous amount of self-work and work with others in changing thought patterns from negative to positive and seen lives transform as a result.

What you continually think about eventually becomes your personality, this then creates who you are or will become..... which effects how your future life will unfold.

The secret is to change your thoughts and subsequently your life is to acknowledge and accept your emotions – the good, bad and ugly. Time to stop pushing them down, ignoring them or denying they exist. It’s actually these suckers that trigger and create the thoughts in your head.

Hang fire with me on this

Think back to the last time you had an emotional response to something – anger, disappointment, embarrassment, whatever.

How long was it between the thing happening and you feeling this emotion? Instantaneous wasn’t it? You had zero conscious control. You didn’t think “I’m angry so now I’m going to feel something in my body”.


That’s because emotions aren’t controlled in the slow coach conscious part of the brain, they’re controlled by the part of the brain whose sole purpose is to keep you safe whenever it has the slightest whiff that you’re in danger. The part of the brain that reacts in BILLIONTHS of a second – the subconscious. Where your survival responses are.


It makes no difference if in reality this ‘danger trigger’ is total hogwash, the subconscious’s motto is better to be safe than sorry - there's gonna be no injury or death on my watch!!


Now, the conscious brain knows full well you’re not in danger so would, IF it were in charge have kept you calm, relaxed and rational – right?


No sireee, instead, the subconscious’s siren is set off, activating your fear centre, all these emotions fill you up, you can’t think straight, and BOOM your slap bang in the middle of FIGHT, FLIGHT, FREEZE or FAWN!

You’re probably going to get

  • Defensive, angry and go on the attack

  • Frightened, shrink into your shell and back down

  • Scared, shocked, and shut down

  • People pleasing

Does this sound familiar?

It’s now that you’re in a state of feeling and fear that your mind starts to create thoughts based on how you're feeling.

If you're feeling a certain way, then it's true and REAL. You have actual evidence – you’re feeling it right now!

Such as:

  • People are always attacking me and having a go at me

  • Nothing ever goes right for me

  • Why do I always attract selfish arseholes (i.e. narcissists)

  • I’m always getting pushed around

  • Nothing ever goes right

  • People are mad with me when I say No.

​The more it happens, the more you confirm the thoughts, soon they're deeply embedded. You can't remember it ever being different.

So not it has become part of your personality - the negative Nancy "Nothing every goes right for me" story on repeat.

It becomes part of your personality - the negative Nancy "Nothing every goes right for me" story on repeat.


Once this pattern has been established the brain then goes into it’s other favourite mode – “I’m always right”

OK, so, you’ve got this negative belief, you’ve felt bad about it a few times, so it’s definitely real.

You’re now ready for the not so hard work of really embedding it in and making it ‘Your Story” - and owning it big time!

Because the brain loves being right (who doesn’t!) it goes on the hunt, looking for every single instance throughout your day to prove it - and it never stops!!.

Oh, and in true know-it-all style, it conveniently ignores all the things that don’t confirm the belief!!

Madness isn't it - but it's true!


How do you stop this happening?


Easy ... you use Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) and Tap It Away!!


EFT works really fast; it calms the brain’s fear centre and clears the negative emotional feelings your body’s been holding onto – sometimes for decades. I’ve cleared stuff of mine that was 40 years old! Once the intensity of emotions has been reduced, it allows you to see things in a different light, the fog has been lifted and you can see things clearly, objectively without the emotional pull in your body. Now your conscious mind can sift through the data and make an informed choice instead of one based on fear or anxiety.


So, these stories that you’re brain has worked so hard to create and embed, you can re-write within a matter of hours.


EFT is available as part of one of my coaching programs or on its own in session packages.

​If you want to know more about EFT or how it can help you transform your life for good apply for your FREE 30 min Discovery Call today!


Enjoy the rest of your day or evening beautiful one, and I'll speak to you very soon


Kerry xxx


For tips on how to Stop People Pleasing and Start Me Pleasing (without feeling guilty or selfish) I have a FREE masterclass you'll find helpful.

In this Free Masterclass you'll learn

  • The 3 BIGGEST People Pleasing mistakes, the ones that keep you stuck saying Yes to them and No to you

  • My simple 5-step Me Pleasing formula to help you go from People Pleasing to Me Pleasing - all without feeling guilty, selfish, or disappointing people

It's the exact same formula I used to end my own People Pleasing ways, I've worked out how to do it, I've made all the mistakes, so you don't have to!


Get started with this free training here or by clicking the image above for access